Thanks once again to unreal_dm for the music to sing to.
The opening vocal sample is from the Farm & Garden Report on the Old Time Radio Researchers site (otrrlibrary.org). Old radio shows were never copyrighted.

I get my goods from the Amazonians
I download pictures from the Smithsonian
I get my music fix from soma and ccMixter
I guess all my shit is digital

My car stops for me in case I’m not looking
I set the timer to stop my food from cooking
I DVR it if there’s something there to see
‘Cause all my shit is digital

I read the news online on the days that I can bear it
I got my ringer set so low I can barely hear it
The only calls I get are liars or (should’ve been and) criminals
I miss the days when things were digitally minimal

I guess it all started with simple things like clocks
At some point they all became faceless
Now eighty percent of kids can’t tell the time by hand
Cal cal calc you later, all my (should’ve been all their) shit is digital

Blenders and thermostats, books and toys and trains (should’ve been games)
The robots are on their way and they’re flying electric planes
I wonder will there come a time when we’re all second class
Just a bunch of meat puppets sittin’ on our ass

Those fancy toilets though
they might be useful then
When all my shit is digital