“To use another’s samples and reveal truths about ourselves.” I think I did that. The poem I used was written over a decade ago, when my heart was still broken, though lots of time had passed since I was left. Writing this poem was a ritual back then, and making it a song in secret mixter was definitely a ritual, too.

Just to make more sense to the lyrics: In northern Finland we usually have snow from October to April, and it’s very unusual to have rain in February, which is also the title of the song, “Helmikuu”.


These are the Finnish lyrics:


Vettä sataa kuin syksyisin,
vaikka on helmikuu,
ja sylinä on vain ikävä.

Minä minuun käpertyy, sinä unohtuu.
Sylinä on vain ikävä,
joka itseään ruokkii.
Ollut ei ole vuosiin
syytä. Päästää irti pitäisi.

Vettä sataa kuin syksyisin,
vaikka on helmikuu.
Minä minuun käpertyy, sinä unohtuu.
Sylinä on vain ikävä,
Sylinä on vain ikävä,
Sylinä on vain ikävä
ja olo syyllinen
hylätyn ihmisen.
Syytä päästää irti olisi.



This is a more like of a translation of the idea in the poem, not trying to match the meter or rhyme:


February


It is raining like it rains when it’s fall,
although it’s February now;
and to hold me I don’t have anything but the missing.

I curl up inside me and you are being forgotten,
but to hold me I don’t have anything but the missing,
feeding itself.
For years now there has not been a reason for it to stay.
I should let it go.

It is raining like it rains when it’s fall,
although it’s February now;
“Me” curls up inside me, “You” is forgotten.
To hold me I don’t have anything but the missing.
To hold me I don’t have anything but the missing.
To hold me I don’t have anything but the missing,
and the guilt of the one who was left.
I have a need to let it go.


(I translated a single line “Minä minuun käpertyy…” two different ways, the first one is the meaning, the latter the literal translation, as I deliberately used Finnish in a bit twisted way.)